it's called diary of a sex addict. it's a spanish movie about a girl who only finds pleasure in sex, and she uses it as a tool to find out who she really is, and what she wants in life. it's lovely, it's unconventional, it has a one-word message.

"live."

"embrace your pain. make it a part of you."

"sometimes getting laid is getting fixed."

"dont look at the wackness, look at the dopeness."

"you're sad, you're not depressed. there's a difference."

"men do the things they do to become the men they need to become."

"there's enough assholes in the world. don't be another one."

"why do people have to be this lonely? what's the point of it all? millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. why? was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"
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"this is the last day for the person i am right now. the very last twilight. when dawn comes, the person i am won't be here anymore. someone else will occupy this body."
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"i dream. sometimes i think that's the only right thing to do. to dream, to live in the world of dreams... but it doesn't last forever. wakefulness always comes to take me back."

noypi.me

read the facebook mashups of filipino heroes. how would it be if mabini, bonifacio, aquino, and aguinaldo have facebooks?


hilarious :)

from self magazine

If there's one thing that gets in the way of you being your healthiest, it's stress. For anyone who's found themselves standing in front of the freezer inhaling spoonfuls of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream (not my real name!) to avoid finishing a project, or waking up three times in the wee hours of the night in anticipation of a difficult conversation, here's some not-so-shocking news: Research shows that anxiety can make you sleep fewer hours, get sick more often, remember less, become more prone to long-term disease and—as if you needed reminding—eat more. No wonder up to 90 percent of doctor visits are for stress-related complaints, a fact that I suspect too many of you know firsthand (though you experience it as GI distress, back pain, a headache or other physical symptom).

In a recent Self.com poll, 85 percent of women said that worries interfere with their ability to catch zzz's, while 71 percent say they're more irritable due to stress. And given the recent headlines about the state of our economy, it's not surprising that 52 percent of women say they are under considerably more stress than they were six months ago. (What is your stress level?)

Grim, yes, but there IS hope. Just as our bodies are wired to react to stress, we're all also programmed to know how to wind down, whether it's by watching a funny movie, sitting in the sauna, sipping some chamomile tea (while dunking a cookie, of course!) or drinking a glass (or two) of wine with dinner. These activities switch on the brain's pleasure centers, blocking the production of the stress hormone cortisol and churning out happiness-inducing chemicals like serotonin instead.

When I feel a tightening in my back or neck coming on, I cope by doing things I love, like going for a long, slow run in the park with my dog. Try a few of these instant soothers, and watch your own stress go from ARGH! to Ahhh.

• Turn up the tunes. Listening to music that has a steady (not frenetic) beat may cause brain waves to keep time and relax you, research from a music symposium at Stanford University in California reports. Load your iPod with a playlist of the songs that make you happiest.
• Phone a friend. Pouring your heart out to pals can help you cope with bad feelings and brainstorm new ways to solve problems. And don't forget to return the favor: Lending an ear and offering support can make you feel needed and reduce anxiety. (Or drop them an e-card to say thanks!)
• Break a sweat. Exercising for 30 minutes makes your body release chemicals that dull the physiological effects of stress response for up to a full day. But the effect only works when the activity is something you really want to do, so make sure you're psyched about channeling your energy in that cardiovascular direction.
• Use a better bulb. Outfit your office lamp with an incandescent bulb, particularly if your cubicle is brightened by fluorescent lights. Incandescent and fluorescent lights work together to more closely mimic outside light. And it's sunshine (or the perception of it) that regulates the body's biorhythms. Not getting enough of it can affect hormone levels, suppressing the immune system and increasing the probability of mood swings, depression and sluggishness.
• Pamper yourself. Whether you get a pedicure or splurge on a blowout, giving yourself special treatment reduces your blood pressure and gets your mind off what’s bothering you. Science supports this coping mechanism as well: A warm bath can activate neurons that increase serotonin, and a study from Bowling Green State University in Ohio found that a 15-minute massage can significantly cut anxiety levels. Not up for a splurge? Get the same effect from an at-home pedicure, manicure or blowout.
• Dine by candlelight. The effect won't just make you look gorgeous. The dim setting actually signals your brain to release melatonin, the good-for-you sleep hormone which ensures a better night's rest. And catching enough zzz's helps keep your stress levels under control and your immune system humming. Can't sleep? See what your stress dreams are trying to tell you.
• Snuggle with your sweetie. A simple 20-second kiss or hug increases endorphin levels, while having sex releases more calming hormones than any other form of sex play, researchers at the University of the West of Scotland at Paisley note.
• Keep a journal. Jotting down your stressful thoughts can help you look at them more logically, potentially easing anxiety, mentally and physically. A study in the Journal of Health Psychology finds that a mere month of expressive writing can help reduce hypertension. Keep a pretty notebook handy at all times.
• Anticipate something awesome. Or something tiny that makes you smile. The point is to look forward to something each day, whether it’s enjoying your morning java or counting down to an exotic vacation. Practicing this will keep your mind from focusing on what could go wrong that day.
• Exhibit your exhilarating moments. Tape up pictures of three amazing days you’ve experienced, such as dancing at your wedding or crossing the finish line of a half-marathon. Honing in on the images for at least 10 seconds can lower muscle tension and stabilize your heartbeat.
• Give someone props. Go on, pay a compliment to someone deserving. Research has shown that the more warm personal connections you make, the better your body is at jettisoning the effects of stress.

so hot...

top chef was really exciting this season. too bad it had to end in a sour note. i'm disappointed!!!!

america's best dance crew... i think quest crew's the best out of all the past contenders, including the winners of the past two seasons. they're just so great, they have all the skills, very exciting... too bad beatfreaks is going to take this because they're girls. it sucks sometimes, this equal opportunity bs. who's the better competitor is overlooked sometimes for the fact that, oh hey, for girls, they are pretty damn good. if it's america's best female dance crew, they would win, undoubtedly. it sucks.

ok time to spend energy on school now.

check it... so funny.

lost in emoticons

first... i am sam. you can imagine how much i bawled while watching the film.

now, milk.

odd how a couple of minutes' preview of a film can make me misty-eyed.

he truly is an amazing actor.

this has been such a long day. we can now breathe a sigh of relief.

i hope this is a start of a string of positive changes.

whenever we go to the mall, we always pay a visit to the puma store to admire, look, and touch lovely pairs of puma evisu jeans.

i don't know what it is about them. is it the nonsensical dreamy pocket evisu logo?


or is it in the red details?


bf is actually more in love with it than i am. i could look at it for a couple of minutes and move on to the shoes. he is, meanwhile, transfixed by the jeans. he studies the stitching, fingers the sheen of the denim, traces his fingers on the logo paint.

well, two weeks ago, we lucked out and found a new-ish puma evisu pair in his size at a recycled fashion store for 1/3 of the price. of course we immediately picked it out and he is a happy camper since.

and today he found one in my size! not quite as dark as the one below, but i wear them like this, since the inseam is 32 and i'm a a short, stubby girl.


bf now thinks we are ready for a photoshoot wearing our his/hers puma evisu jeans we've admired from afar (well, ok, so we touch it but could never purchase). although he looks much, much sexier in his.

now if i only i can have that girl's body... sigh. indulged in some cheesy omelettes again today =(

the last i've watched is my long-awaited tropic thunder, which i thought was ok. i'm a huge zoolander fan, so anything ben stiller does, i have high standards. i laughed some, but no tear-inducing laughter.

because i have limited free time these days (the commute from and to work is killing me), i have to find a way to still watch my movies. so i download. ssssh.

i only download movies with many seeds so that i could get them fast. so i got hancock, which i fast-forwarded a lot, and the charlize theron twist was just too dumb that i had to shut it off and place the entire thing in my recycle bin.

sometimes though, i get lucky and get a gem of a movie. such is the case for married life, which featured fantastic actors.



it was filled with entertaining twists and turns, and asks the question, "do you really know what your significant other is thinking?"

and... "what is love?"

patricia clarkson's character says that it's sex. chris cooper's character says it's affection.

but it's both, isn't it? they go hand in hand, and once one goes, the other is thisclose to leaving too.

but who really knows, right. it's all about perspective.

life just kicks you repeatedly and trumps any of your attempts to get up? but because i watched "gone with the wind" three times and had to suffer the intermissions, i'll do a scarlett o hara.

"after all, tomorrow is another day."

i made a mistake! i bought a box of tampons today and they don't have pearl applicators! they're cardboard and so tough to use. i keep telling myself to relax, but instead i just make myself nervous.

and there are 39 more to go before i get to buy the right ones =(

logos, graphics, trendy images and prints, they fade. i aspire to wear clothing with single solid colors.

my wardrobe is more than 50% black. it's not good during the summer no wonder how thin the material is =( i need more yellows but the material often used for yellow dresses and blouses are too thin! or they're too yellow and make me look like i have jaundice.

it's getting so hot. when i used to have my own place, i used to fill the tub with cold water, simulating a pool. because i can't swim or float i could just lie down on the tub and enjoy the fresh, cool water surrounding me.

i hate summer because i'm so poor and can't indulge in a shopping spree.

i need a job. like, NOW.

ok counting calories from now on. i panicked looking at the calendar today! it's almost mid-year and i'm not even close to my ideal weight. realistically i probably wouldn't make it but i want to be close to it. i just gotta keep trying. i've abandoned my regular exercise regimen and just sorta became a couch potato! school's been a drag and i have no energy to exercise. really, really lame excuse. i gotta kick my butt sometimes. bf's no help. he always says, "shut up. you look good, baby." which really doesn't help.

i also checked my weight today after being unfriendly with the scales for a while and i gained 3 pounds!!! no wonder my face is getting rounder. i've been on a burger binge, that's why. in and out is just soooo good.

so i'm back to eating special k and soymilk for breakfast. no more of that egg, spam, bacon, fried rice nonsense. time to get serious.

good thing i've always been a good crammer. haha. so it's almost june. i need to make it. wear a nice bathing suit. yanno?

i don't care what people say about keanu reeves' acting skills (or lack of). he will always be my crush. i love him, since the matrix. i've seen a lot of his movies and will continue to support him. just today i watched street kings. although not particularly awesome, he's so hot, even the bf is enthralled. haha.

ok to any of the people who expressed their interest into joining a book club, join this: kokoro o toraeru.

i can't think of a book club title to use, so because right now i'm so addicted to murakami, i pulled it off a quote from one of his books.

"On any given day, something claims our attention [literally "grabs our hearts": kokoro o toraeru] Anything at all, inconsequential things. A rosebud, a misplaced hat, that sweater we liked as a child, an old Gene Pitney record. A parade of trivia with no place to go. Things that bump around in our consciousness for two or three days then go back to whereever they came from... to darkness. We've got all these wells dug in our hearts. While above the wells, birds flit back and forth."
— Haruki Murakami (Pinball, 1973)

good novels are hard to come by, and those that grab my heart i always remember.

i posted some just so the community doesn't look lonely being that i am the lone member. but not for long, right? come on, guys!

i guess the plan is to write about any book you like, recommend, or are interested in reading, authors, or any book-related things AND ideally i want to read one book per month with you guys.

wouldn't it be kinda cool, that although we are all from different places, that we'll read the same book and talk about it? i've always liked the idea of book clubs, but being that i don't have time to meet at a regular basis, this is the only way i can do it.

no matter how many times i get burned, ebay is my window shopping. because my laptop is always on (i'm always downloading movies, tv shows, and music and playing free cell... i get so obsessed that i used to delete my record if i lose because i want a perfect 100% win. so when bf is playing i get so mad when he's about to lose. i say, "let me play it! you're ruining my stats!" haha but he's also a master like me so there's no need to worry.)

at any given time, i'm watching like a 100 items on ebay! but of course i know this is not the time to get anything because i'm jobless and really running low on funds.

vow to self: i need a job this summer. find anything.

anyway. today i crumbled and got a bottle of my only MUST beauty product. i don't wear makeup but my only NEED is to straighten my hair. i don't want to chemically straighten it because i hear of horror stories and i'd rather let my hair stay healthy, so bf decided to replace my old, sad revlon straightener and bought me a Chi iron. and i found paul mitchell's super skinny serum which makes my hair silky smooth. i love it =)

i might be poor but dammit i need my silky hair. haha.

ps why is it that when you're poor, things pop up. sigh. car insurance. my tooth filling came out and had to be fixed, all this small shit that adds up to one massive credit card bill. =( i try not to go to the mall anymore or leave my cards intentionally at home so as not to be tempted.

i lost a pound! i've been a very bad girl. i only did kenpo/aerobics twice this week =( i also haven't paid a visit to the treadmill lately. it's now april and i only have two months to go before my set deadline of reaching my weight goal. sigh. it's coming along slowly. the loss of a few pounds in the beginning was easier. now i'm on the plateau most of the time. well as long as it's still going down, no matter how slow, as opposed to climbing up, yeah?